How Much Does it Cost to Build a Tree House?

We assume your grounds are graced with a suitable tree. Ideally a 300 year old plane tree at the far end of the lawn, blessed with a beautiful cleft around 6’off the ground, with three massive boughs spreading regally over the lake in the foreground and soaring high over the Ha Ha to the rear. 

You can recline, suitably adorned in a crumpled old white suit, in a well shaded basket chair, cool drink in hand and instruct Mellors and his chappies in the gentle art of tree house construction, possibly allowing them to unbutton their waistcoats as the heat of the day builds to a fiery crescendo. 

All right we can’t all be Arthur Ransome but that’s the image tree houses conjure up for me. Accompanied of course, by the excited shouting of small boys, called Hugo and Jonty.

Right ho, chuck the fantasy out the window and what do we have? Your kids and that sad old apple tree; that’ll have to do then!

You are going to build it yourself aren’t you? It’s a dad’s job, along with camping out in the garden with them and creating the biggest sandcastle on the beach. Call it a bit of insurance for when they’re 15 and hate you. Just point to what’s still left of it, dripping in the rain and remind them that you weren’t always the monster that now stands before them.

You need planed 3 x 2 softwood, 10 lengths of it about 3.6 metres long. About the same number of 6 x 1 planed boards and a few 3.6metre sticks of 2 x 1 batten. You need a kilo of 4”, and a kilo of 2” nails. You need a roll of green felt for the roof and a bag of galvanised felt nails. The whole lot including delivery and VAT will cost about £175.00.

You don’t even have to go and get it. Just phone the order through to the local timber merchants, shout your plastic at them and it will all turn up on your driveway on Friday. Get a sharp disposable saw while you’re at it, yours is bound to be blunt! 

Make the design up as you go along and let the kids help you, don’t worry if it’s not level or particularly pretty, they won’t care, it’s the first time they’ve spoken to you properly all year, they’ll be having a ball! Make the little house on a platform and wrap the felt all round it. It will rip a bit but just bang a few more felt nails in. 

That’s it nearly done….. and is this mummy coming down the garden path with a lovely jug of home-made lemonade and sticky buns? Good oh, that just about allows you the time to fix the sign up over the doorway that you secretly painted last weekend.  

Made with love by your dad!